In 2013 I had a life-changing accident when I was crushed by a car. I was paralysed at first as I’d been mangled in the car and had to be cut out of it, though I think this was shock as I later started to get feeling/movement back in my legs. I was working at the Forth Bridges at the time. I lost my job as they medically retired me which was heart-breaking as I’d worked all my days. It was a complete culture shock and it took me a long time to come to terms with it all. I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia so had to learn to manage the pain from this too.

Originally, I was afraid of taking medicines as I prefer to keep a clear mind but I was given pain medicines and went to the pain management group which helped.  I had lots of combinations of medicines until I found one that works. I tried to come off pregabalin/amitriptyline and that was a disaster. I would like to reduce the medicines when the time’s right. I used to get a foggy mind, but it’s mostly ok.  

I used to be so athletic before the accident and afterwards, I hardly had the energy to manage anything.  I attended the Pain Clinic and they had different projects for patients and I used to draw so I decided to try the art. This was the start of my journey of learning to live with the pain.

It was like a break from the former self to be who I am now and learn from what I could do then to what I can do now. Sometimes I would fight with it if I wasn’t feeling ok. I realised after someone in the pain clinic said to me – “it’s about what you do and it’s up to you now”. 

It was like a wake-up call and I realised I had to start thinking differently and doing things differently – they had arts, crafts, and other groups on and that is when I went to the art group. Art has saved me and given me a purpose. I started treating it like a job and getting up early in the morning. I got some money from the Bridges when I had to leave my job so I built my shed into an art studio and in the early days I could be in there for a couple of hours, however, now I can do 4-6 hours a day, with breaks, and it is a really happy place for me to be. 

I get different pain when I’m concentrating so I have to be aware of this and the medicines used to make me sleep a lot so I had to work through this but it was worth it. I was an Art Teacher at the pain clinic before lockdown for a couple of years and I found it helped other people and was life-changing for them too. I continue doing classes where I can and make them manageable for people as much as I can if they have certain conditions e.g. taking breaks, adapted tools etc.  
 
I have used all sorts of different ways to manage the pain including art, pacing myself, setting goals, having a positive attitude and mindset, not overdoing things or hurting myself, resting and things like exercise really help so doing what I can with this. I learnt to look after myself mentally too as this is so important – I was on antidepressants and it was hard for years.

I’m at a stage now where I know what I can or can’t do and when to ask for help. I spent a lot of time fighting with and hurting myself in the early days.  It’s important to accept the pain and make the best of how you are. It’s about your state of mind and never giving up. You learn to get to know your new mind and body. Learning to manage yourself and use whatever you can to help – you learn how to cope.  

The time spent talking was helpful too, I didn’t talk about things before and now I do. What happened to me was life-changing, it was a turning point in my life as I used to be a very different type of person to who I am now.

The most important thing for me now is to carry on the way I am – I set goals and plans for myself. I’ve been an artist for 10 years now using watercolours and oils. I teach art classes myself; I’ve done exhibitions and I have an American artist as a mentor. It’s a part-time job for me and I can do 6-8 hours teaching a week. This is about my future now and I have don’t have to rely on anyone to do this at all.